Hangin', bangin', tossin' and turnin' When your partner's sleepin' game ruins yours
Disruptions in Sleep Due to Partner's Actions
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Snoring, restlessness, and all-night ruckus got you tossing and turning? It's not just you. Particularly if you're a woman, you're likely struggling to catch some Z's while your partner snores and moves around like a freight train. But don't panic. Experts say there's a solution that won't jeopardize your relationship: separate beds.
Roused from slumber by the cacophony of your significant other's nocturnal exertions? Might ring a bell. You're far from alone, especially if you're rocking the skirt.
Sleep guru Kneginja Richter often encounters women seeking her advice when they're battling sleep woes in the shared bed. "Ladies tend to prefer sharing the marital bed, but their peace gets disrupted by snoring or restless movements," says the chief doc at CuraMed day clinic in Nuremberg. In the morning, those troubled by the disturbances typically look and feel soggy: the sleep isn't deep enough, and the necessary recovery remains elusive.
Sleep Problems: A Gender Thang
This predicament can be explained by studies suggesting gender plays a significant role in the frequency and type of sleep problems. Women are more prone to being easily awakened and are more sensitive to noise, especially during stages like puberty, pregnancy, motherhood, or menopause. Hormonal fluctuations are the culprits, according to Richter.
On the flip side, men are more likely to suffer from obstructive sleep apnea, characterized by nocturnal breathing pauses and snoring. This can be attributed to anatomical features: men frequently boast a larger neck girth and more stomach fat situated deep within the abdominal cavity.
One partner snores while the other lies there aggravated – that sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? But Richter highlights that studies show women, despite their poor sleep quality, still prefer bunking together in the bed. "That's pretty ironic," she adds, who is a rep for the scientific committee of the German Sleep Research and Sleep Medicine Society (DGSM).
Oxytocin: The Love Hormone to the Rescue (Sometimes)
A possible explanation for this paradox is found in the cuddle hormone oxytocin. This feel-good neurotransmitter surges during the REM sleep phase, also known as dream sleep, particularly when there's comforting physical contact. Given the right bond between partners, their REM sleep stages even synchronize.
"That could be why women, despite their subpar slumber, still stick by the shared bed because of snoring and all," says Richter.
DIY Sleep Solutions
So, what can you do if you want to confront the issue head-on? Richter suggests a cost-effective approach if your partner snores: earplugs. Furthermore, try hitting the sack and kipping off earlier than the disturbance.
If the situation still requires a more drastic response, consider investing in a spacious new bed with a width of 2 or 2.20 meters. Giving each sleeper adequate space can help. Additionally, opt for separate mattresses instead of one colossal one, so each partaker can enjoy some blissful, disruption-free sleep.
However, distance might not be enough to resolve the issue. In that case, a wall between the sleepers could help – in other words, separate sleeping areas. Although many couple's balk at the idea of separate beds, Richter explains that they can have a positive impact on the relationship by boosting sleep quality, enhancing well-being, and even elevating sexual satisfaction.
Sources: ntv.de, Ricarda Dieckmann, dpa
- Sleep, Sleep disorders, Partnership
Further Thoughts
-According to a study, sleeping apart allows partners to achieve a 30–40% improvement in overall sleep quality, as they avoid disturbances like snoring, temperature issues, and mismatched sleep schedules, allowing for more restful, undisturbed sleep [1].
-Sleeping separately can enhance emotional connection and communication during waking hours, as couples who sleep apart often experience increased intimacy and communication [1].
-Couples who sleep separately do not necessarily encounter relationship problems; instead, sleeping separately can be an expression of "sleep autonomy" where partners respect each other's need for uninterrupted rest and space [3].
-Several famous couples, including Carson Daly and his spouse, have reaped the benefits of a so-called "sleep divorce" that has improved their relationship and their sleep overall [5].
-In relationships where one partner snores or has insomnia, separate sleeping can be more advantageous, particularly for women who are more sensitive to sleep disruptions caused by a partner [3].
- The study suggests that sleeping apart can lead to a significant improvement in overall sleep quality, as it reduces disturbances from factors like snoring, temperature issues, and mismatched sleep schedules.
- Sleeping separately can also foster emotional connection and communications, as partners often experience increased intimacy and dialogue during their waking hours.
